— RECREATION OF CHRIS'S FINAL MOMENTS —
— BY THE NUMBERS —
GAMES NEEDED
2
Didn't need
a third game.
CHRIS WIN RATE
0%
Statistically
flawless defeat.
PRIOR PAX TITLES
6+
All of them
now questionable.
JOYSTICK SIZE
🏀
Basketball-sized.
No excuses accepted.
"I was the 6-time champion. The joystick was large. I had excuses prepared. Then Alex played. I had nothing."
— CHRIS (paraphrased, probably)
[T+00m] Alex and Chris approach the arcade cabinet.
[T+01m] Basketball-sized joysticks noted. Both players informed. No special treatment granted.
[T+02m] Best of 3 agreed upon. Chris privately assumes this will be quick.
[T+15m] Game 1 concludes. Chris: 0. Alex: 1. An unsettling silence falls over the arcade.
[T+28m] Game 2 concludes. Chris: 0. Alex: 2. Series ends. Game 3 never happens.
[T+29m] A 6-time PAX West Tetris champion stares quietly at the screen.
[T+30m] Triple defeat confirmed: mental, physical, and spiritual.
[T+31m] Website commissioned. This monument erected in perpetuity.
🏆
AWARDED TO: ALEX
For defeating a 6-time champion
with zero prior accolades,
on a machine with basketball-sized joysticks,
in two straight games,
without the need for a third.
This award is permanent.
Chris's record remains: 0 and 2.
— CHRIS'S HALL OF INFAMY —
01
THE VANISHING TITLE
6+ PAX West championships. Each one a silent witness to what happened on May 21. None of them helped.
02
THE JOYSTICK EXCUSE (DENIED)
Both players were given the same basketball-sized joysticks. Alex used his. Chris did not, apparently.
03
THE UNNECESSARY THIRD GAME
A best-of-3 series concluded in 2 games. The third game stayed in the machine, unused, unjudged, unnecessary.
04
THE TRIPLE DEFEAT
Defeated mentally. Defeated physically. Defeated spiritually. A complete and historic sweep of the soul.
05
THIS WEBSITE
The final insult. A permanent public monument to a very specific Tuesday at an arcade. Updated annually. Record: unchanged.
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